Forget Cupid – It’s All About Galentine’s Day, Baby!

Ah, Galentine’s Day—a sacred time of the year when women put their friendships first, leave behind the chaos of romance (or lack thereof) and gather for bottomless mimosas, over-the-top charcuterie boards, and questionable karaoke decisions. But let us tell you, darlings, this year’s Galentine’s festivities were anything but drama-free. Grab your popcorn, because the tea is steaming hot.

First up, we have Emma, the queen of Pinterest-worthy parties. Her Instagram post boasted a dreamy tablescape, complete with pink peonies, heart-shaped waffles, and a chocolate fountain. What the pictures didn’t show? That fountain malfunctioned halfway through the brunch, spewing molten chocolate onto the centerpiece and—get this—Jessica’s new white blazer. Jessica took it surprisingly well, though rumor has it she left a passive-aggressive comment on Emma’s post later: “So fun! Loved the memories more than the outfit casualties.”

And speaking of Jessica, she brought her new friend Maya to the event, which was a major faux pas. Maya is delightful, of course, but the rest of the group couldn’t help but notice she kept name-dropping her ex in every story. “Oh, this rosé reminds me of the vineyard Brad and I visited in Napa!” and “Wow, this dip reminds me of Brad’s mom’s recipe!” Let’s just say Jessica’s friends are now affectionately referring to Maya as “Miss Bradentine.”

Meanwhile, Sarah, the self-proclaimed “low-maintenance friend,” showed up an hour late with a box of discount chocolates she swore were artisanal. The girls didn’t buy it for a second—literally. By the time they got to the bottom of the box, someone found a clearance sticker. But Sarah won everyone over with her dramatic retelling of the “Tinder guy who tried to mansplain feminism,” so all was forgiven.

And who could forget about Olivia? She’s the fitness guru of the group, and she insisted on leading everyone in a 15-minute “Galentine’s yoga flow” before brunch. No one had the heart to tell her that half the group was only pretending to do the poses while sneaking sips of champagne. By the time Olivia announced, “Let’s finish in downward dog,” Rachel was already halfway through her second mimosa and muttered, “I’m finishing in a nap.”

In the end, Galentine’s Day lived up to its reputation: chaotic, a little messy, but full of love and laughter. And if this year’s events prove anything, it’s that friendship is stronger than chocolate fountain explosions, awkward plus-ones, and even clearance candy. Cheers to that!